W.O.W.

It's amazing the difference a year makes!

The last few days I've been astounded at how the human mind works. This isn't anything new, but this particular time I'm amazed by the mind's ability to not fully understand the gravity of a situation until MUCH later.

Many of you who have followed my blog for a while now remember this post...

http://thebeckerbunch.blogspot.com/2008/07/no-fireworks-needed.html

and this post...

http://thebeckerbunch.blogspot.com/2008/07/we-busted-out.html

from last 4th of July.

Reading back on the post, I realize it was a difficult time for us, however...I don't think it really hit me until VERY recently...like a few days ago recently.

I have spent the last few days finding myself remembering him in the hospital or having to leave him to get stitches because the Dr. said it would be hard to watch or seeing him suffer and I can't keep the tears from coming. I have a renewed and strong testimony of Heavenly Father's love for us and for how precious children are.

I have also learned quite a lesson from Keaton this past year and that is of the body's ability to bounce back and move on. On Friday, we went to the splash pad at the park to let the kids run around. At one point I saw Keat playing with some other boys, older boys, who eventually walked him over to a bench and the group sat and talked and played around. This is NO surprise because Keaton has an amazing ability to make friends ANYWHERE he goes. I was a tad worried as they started walking away so I followed from a distance. When they sat down, my mom worry went away but I stayed and listened to them talk. They talked about what they were playing and the other boys seemed to really think Keat was awesome(so do I). Eventually a lady with a VERY large dog walked by. The other boys jumped up and asked her, pleaded with her to let them pet her dog. She agreed and the group surrounded the dog, each boy scratching an ear or it's head or any other part they could reach. Keaton stayed back, but eventually got up and timidly touched the dogs nose, smiled and laughed as he did so, sat back down and VERY matter of factly told the lady, "I DON'T LIKE DOGS". :)

How much better would we be if we lived our lives in such a manner...notice he didn't tell her he didn't like dogs and THEN find the courage to pet it. He may have talked himself out of it had he reacted that way. Instead, he rode the roller coaster, got back on the horse, faced his fear and then was happy to report that maybe it didn't CHANGE his feelings, but he wasn't going to LET THEM change him.

Keaton is just amazing. I love that boy to pieces. I'm SO grateful for him and that a year later, he's okay, not only his face, but I believe he is okay too. I don't think there will ever be a FEAR of dogs, nothing that will go so far as to keep him from finding them funny and lovable. He may not jump to pet them or play with them, but he'll always love them. I'm grateful for that.

I know this post is a bit of a rambling, but I truly have been reminded that I am lucky this week. Lucky to have such wonderful little people to learn from and strengthen me. They keep me on my toes, but they keep me dancing!

I'm PROUD to be an American

HAPPY 4th of JULY!!!

May God bless this wonderful Nation and those who fight to ensure our liberties!!

If there must be trouble let it be in my day, that my child may have peace.- Thomas Paine (1737-1809)

Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women; when it dies there, no constitution, no law, no court can save it.- Judge Learned Hand

The Star Spangled Banner

By Francis Scott Key 1814

Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light

What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?

Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight,

O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?

And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,

Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.

Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,

Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,

What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,

As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?

Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,

In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:'

Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore

That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,

A home and a country should leave us no more!

Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.

No refuge could save the hireling and slave

From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:

And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand

Between their loved home and the war's desolation!

Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land

Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.

Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,

And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."

And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Broox' Photo Shoot

Here is a photo shoot we did with Broox when he was about 4 weeks old. I can't believe how much he's grown and changed already from these pictures. He's really starting to pack the weight on. At his ONE MONTH WELL CHECK, here were his stats.

He weighs in at 9 pounds and 10 ounces
He is 22 inches long

He's a little over 50% in each category. He is EXACTLY the same weight as Lilee was at this time, but an inch shorter. However, he is over a pound heavier than Keaton was, but an inch taller. Looks like Keat will be our string bean, Lilee is our "big boned" one, and Broox may be our pudgy guy! Who knows in the end!!

Here are our photos...I LOVE our new camera!! I think the pictures look like they were taken by a professional!

Some of these I couldn't flip, so you'll have to turn your head!! :) He's already for winter...so am I!!

I LURVE LURVE LURVE his hair in this photo. He's already lost so much of it...but it looks so cute here!
Truly a gift!
I love the color contrast in this picture!
Already for church...heehee! He has "dancing legs" don't you think?! So graceful looking!
Here is the Build a Bear the kids got him. I'll have to take a photo to show you how small it is, but it looks HUGE next to Broox. I love his little smile...and those crossed eyes!
As with an eternal circle that goes on forever, so too will our family! What a blessing! (PS...my fingers were still so swollen that I couldn't get my ACTUAL ring off, so this had to do)
So new...
So precious!
This is Seth's favorite picture I think...If this isn't an ad for PEACE, I don't know what is!
I love these munchkins SO much! This is SO their personalities...Lilees showing off, Keat being cute and shy, and Broox sleeping through it all!!

We went up to Estrella Hills a couple weeks ago and got some great pictures there also!

Here's Lilee...I love the "architecture" of this picture!
They are such good friends...I love it!
I LOVE this picture...it looks like she's grumpy, but she was really just running REALLY hard and concentrating REALLY hard...but this IS the face she gives when she is being sassy, so there ya go!
He's such a goof!
Here's my beautiful lady...those EYES!!!
The kids are LESS than amused!A BIT more into it with daddy
The BEAUTIFUL sunsets that we are blessed with here in Arizona...not sure if it makes the heat worth it though...but you can truly see God's hand in this...it's amazing!

O Remember, Remember

I have decided to start a new blog entry based on a talk by Elder B. Eyring. A clip can be found here.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DF01BQAcj8E&feature=channel

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These posts will always be titled "O Remember, Remember"

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"I realized trying to remember had allowed God to show me what He had done"

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I most likely won't do this every day, but I am hoping that by attempting this as often as possible, I will be more aware of Heavenly Father's hand in my own life.

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Last Sunday, as we were driving home from church, we asked Keaton what he had learned in nursery that day. In the past, we are usually given his typical answer..."we played play-dough, ate grapes and fruit snacks, and colored" Sometimes he remembers to tell us that they played with cars and other toys. Seth and I usually look at each other and smile. It has become so humorous that when he doesn't offer a lot of information up, we usually ask what he had for snack, since that is typically what he remembers most.

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However, on this particular Sunday, when we asked him what he learned in nursery, Keaton said, "I A CHILD OF GOD" As surprise was overcome by happiness and pride, I became very aware of the individuals teaching my child such precious and simple truths. How grateful I am to them. How grateful I am for the innocence and quiet reminders that come from my perfect little man. I hope I will be able to more deeply instill this truth in all my children and remind myself each day that "I, too, A CHILD OF GOD"

P.P.S.

Day two of P90X...

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I want to die!

My arms are more sore today than they were yesterday from Monday's shoulder and back workout.

Waking up last night to cater to the Broox Man proved to be TERRIBLY difficult after the hour long cardio workout...which, by the way, was so horrendously difficult, I truly thought I may keel over and die right in the middle of "Bringing It". 3 months of this, huh?! At least the cardio is only once a week...whew! Tonight is arms...huh?! Why do my arms already hurt?! Tomorrow is YOGA and I'm PRAYING that there are some relaxation yoga techniques in there somewhere amidst the GRUELING hour long intensity. BEACH BODY, BEACH BODY, BEACH BODY...that's my mantra...that and...ANYBODY CAN DO ANYTHING FOR 30 SECONDS!

If you have NO clue what I'm talking about, ask...I'd be happy to share with you what Seth is "determined" we try. I'll tell you this much, I'm DEFINITELY "feeling" the burn! Hopefully in a few weeks time we'll see some results! I'm excited to lose this baby chub once and for all...at least until I get pregnant again! Sheesh...let's hope that doesn't happen anytime soon!! :) I cannot IMAGINE what my "fours company" post would say!!

This will be us in 90 days...heehee, a girl can dream, can't she?! But these ARE real 90 day results...gives ya a goal at the least, right?! :)

P.S.

Seth and I started P90X last night. If you don't know what that is, go here...

www.BeachBody.com/P90X

Wish us luck...

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we're gonna need it!!

If we're brave...we'll post before, during, and after progress photos!

HAPPY DAD's/HUSBAND's DAY Seth-ee-Poo

We didn't do a whole lot. I sorta dropped the ball this year with everything since the babe has come, but it doesn't change the fact that I am married to the most WONDERFUL man alive! I truly don't believe I deserve him and feel so blessed that he chose me! I have SO many great things to say about his as a husband, but I'll save that post for our anniversary in July!! Right now, I want to express my love and appreciation for him as a father. When Seth and I had difficulty getting pregnant, he was my rock. He always talked about the kids we'd have one day and he always knew it would happen. It would melt my heart to hear those words and really did bring me such comfort. When we lost Logan, our hearts were both broken, but Seth always assured me that "Logan made us parents". I didn't always feel that way, but Seth already was the best daddy. Then Keaton entered our lives. Immediately, I knew that Seth deserved that title. The more kids we've added to the equation, the more Seth has lived up to the title of BEST DADDY. He's more than willing, but WANTING to play with them. He THINKS about them throughout his day. THEY ARE HIS WORLD! He comes home and gets right on the floor to wrestle or snuggle and then jumps up to give the baby loves. In between, he's changing diapers, helping to stop a brewing battle, picking up messes, and just overall being the most amazing man I've ever known! I love him with all of my heart and am SO grateful for him in my life.

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I LOVE YOU!
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No pictures from this year, but I'll post a few of my favs of him and the kiddos!
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This

is what he got for Father's Day this year...we just have to order it! :) Remember, dropping the ball and such! We also had donuts, as requested, for breakfast and made homemade sausage and egg sandwiches for dinner...yummo!

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WE LOVE OUR DADDY!!

Three's Company...

What I've learned in the last 4 weeks.

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~Three kids IS different than two kids

~Your older children will surprise you when the new baby arrives...in good AND not so good ways

~Little girls who are sassy BEFORE the new baby, will be more sassy AFTER the new baby

~Big brothers are AWESOME the second time around

~Big SISTERS think they are MOMS when the new baby comes

~Having a new baby will "fix" any sleep problems with older children...probably because you are so tired you don't have the energy to do anything except let them fix it themselves

~You can fall in love with your husband all over again when you watch the baby pee all over him and he laughs

~Getting no sleep at night with three kids is VERY VERY different than getting no sleep at night with one or two kids

~Two children will reak HAVOC in the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, living room, etc. when unattended

~Whether you remember or forgot, POOP WILL STAIN...even your brand new luxury sheets

~The grocery store is a scary place with three children 3 yrs and younger...and a place where people WILL look at you like you are the next Octo-mom

~Dr. Jeckyl is REAL...come to my house about 3am and you'll find HER mumbling obscurities at her husband

~Mrs. Hyde WILL return each morning to apologize to her husband...but beware of the no sleep monster again each evening

~Baby eye balls are INTERESTING and MUST BE TOUCHED by 1 year old little girls...who think they are mommies...and are sassy

~Two hours of sleep isn't enough to function normally...I didn't say you can't FUNCTION at all...just not normally

~The word "NO" means NOTHING when you are tied up with the baby..."NO, don't take your sisters diaper off, she's not potty trained"..."No, don't squirt your go-gurt ALL OVER THE carpet"..."NO, stop hitting your sister, biting your brother, scribbling on the wall, scribbling on your face, flooding the bathroom floor, etc."

~A sweet baby makes it ALL WORTH IT!

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My sweet little man is FOUR WEEKS OLD TODAY!! Where has the time gone?! He'll be a month old on Friday...so sad! He's already gaining TONS of weight and chunkin up like Becker's do!! He has pretty much slept through his first 4 weeks of life. He WOULD sleep at night also except that the second we put him down he gets restless. We're working on the sleep issues and enjoying his little CALM personality start to shine. He is DEFINITELY laid back, as I've heard the 3rd child always is! He lets his older brother and sister poke, kiss, and love on him most of the time. He just began to smile...mostly when he's tired...and it's adorable! He's losing lots of his hair already and his eyes are turning blue. He really is just the sweetest little guy ever!

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Keaton and Lilee have been overall GREAT with him. They get in his face a lot, but as I mentioned, he doesn't seem to mind most days. He has been stepped on already, and surprisingly took it really well!

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Keaton is an AMAZING big brother. He wanted NOTHING to do with Lilee until she was about a year old and this time he just can't WAIT for Broox to "get big". For the first 3 weeks, EVERY TIME Keat woke from a nap or in the morning, he'd ask us..."Is Broox big yet...he play cars now...he walk with me?" Seth even caught him a couple times talking to Broox in his bassinet..."Say da-da...c'mon...say da-da". Too cute. He helps with EVERYTHING...wants to feed him, hold him, protect him. If I put Broox on the ground, he'll immediately go over and lay by him and make sure if his paci falls out to put it back in his mouth. He spends so much time just staring at him...so do I! He's an INCREDIBLE little guy. He's also really starting to learn and recognize his letters. He LOVES his ABC pre-school and all his friends. The week after Broox was born, they took a field trip to Peter Piper Pizza to learn about the letter "P". I packed all three kiddos up and we headed over...quite the accomplishment for me. The other day he found a piece of trash that looked like the letter "J" and showed me. He is talking a TON more and I can see an end in sight from the TERRIBLE 3's that started so badly. He's such a sweet boy and everywhere we go people tell me how loving he is. He'll come right up to ya and give you a hug, whether he knows you or not. On a daily basis since Broox has come he will tell us he loves us, very randomly. WE LOVE YOU TOO KEAT BEAT!!

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Lilee is a DIVA...sass-a-frass...cute as a button little snot!!:) She is such a mommy to Broox...wanting to SHOVE his binkie or bottle in his mouth whether he wants it or not. For a girl who was VERY used to getting her way, things have started to change. Luckily, she doesn't seem to make the connection between baby and change. She loves Broox a TON. However, her tantrums have increased and she gets a LOT more emotional lately. We've had to put our foot down on some behavior that was acceptable before but now is just too much. She hits, bites, and SCREAMS "NO". She's adjusting. She really is SO cute with Broox too though. She asks where he is whenever she wakes from a nap. She is talking a TON already and communicates so well. She even knows some of her colors...she's our little smarty pants. I can't wait till she is a BIT older and can have girls days with me and all the girls in our family. It'll be fun to have just us 'gals' hang out and leave the brothers at home! WE ADORE YOU PRINCESS!

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Seth and I are adjusting as well. It hasn't been too big of a change so far...especially because Broox sleeps so much. The nighttime lack of sleep is a bit much for both of us. Seth is such a good husband and daddy, very willing to help me at night with feedings and such. I know ladies, I picked a winner! He also works VERY hard at work to support our growing family and comes home each evening to children running into his arms. His kids ADORE him...and so do I! Just before Broox was born Seth was called as the new Young Men's' President in our ward. It is a very demanding calling, one that will take him from home and require much of his time. I'm learning to be more independent and Seth is learning to be more proactive and assertive. All are great qualities that we are grateful to learn. ;) This calling truly is a blessing and I know Seth will be a great leader to the boys in our church. My days are long, but more rewarding than I ever knew they could be. My house is a disaster, but my children love me. Dinner is rarely made on time or at all, but my marriage is strong. The world is a challenging and cynical place, but I have great faith. I AM SO BLESSED!

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Some pictures for your viewing pleasure...

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What cute little munchkins

She UBER loves her little brother

Broox had really bad jaundice when he was born and had to have the Bili-Blanket for a few days...here is my little pumpkin baking away!

The kids have had to get creative these last few weeks. We didn't know they got naked for quite some time...stinkers.

Here is Broox' first bath...yeah...he SLEPT THROUGH IT...what kid does that?! He didn't even wake up once. Keat was SO excited to "help"

We've taken MANY trips to the park lately too. Mainly mom needs to get out of the house and go somewhere that the kids can let out some energy!

Lilee playing in the water...she's such a cutie!

Broox...is he just not the CUTEST little man ever...look at those CHEEKS!!!!

Broox' Birth Story

I know, I know. I keep promising updates and then I never follow through. MANnnn...I really need to get back into blogging! Well, we'll start here, with Broox-y-Boy's official BIRTH STORY! Enjoy!

Monday, May 18th. In an effort to make a bit more progress, I took the kids to the mall Monday morning. We met Amie and the boys and let the kids play. I got SOME walking in, but managed to get a few last minute things done as well. At 37 weeks pregnant, I was exhausted and by the time I got the kiddos home we all napped for a couple hours. That afternoon I had an appointment with my Dr. and was hoping that we would set an induction date for the following week. When I got there and asked, my Dr. said he wanted to wait until I was a bit closer to 39 weeks rather than 38 to induce. Blah! Then, he checked my progress and I was 4 cm. dilated and 80% effaced. He asked if I wanted him to strip my membranes, which I did. WHOA NELLY...that hurt...BAD! I don't remember it hurting when my membranes were stripped with Lilee, so I was excited that things might progress after I left. My Dr. was sure that he would see me that night, although, that is EXACTLY what I was told with Lilee and nothing ever happened. Well, I left the office, had a few contractions, but a LOT of errands to run. By the time I made it to Walmart I was having some pretty intense contractions and they seemed to be getting into a pattern. I made it home and after a few hours of contracting and walking around the block and losing patterns and losing intensity and gaining intensity...we decided to head to the hospital and see what they wanted us to do. We put the kids to bed and had Seth's brothers come over to hang out while the kids slept. We got to the hospital about 9pm and I was hooked up to all the monitors. They showed that I was contracting, but they weren't consistent. We decided to walk the halls a bit and see if things would pick up. Walked and walked. No progress made. I was CONVINCED they would send me home like they did with Lilee. Seth and I packed up all our stuff and waited for the nurse to come and tell us we could go home. I wasn't nearly as upset as I was waiting for Lilee since I had prepared myself for this outcome. BOY WERE WE SHOCKED when the nurse came in and said that my Dr. was on call that night and decided to admit me and break my water. We just had to wait for a Labor and Delivery room to open up.

About 12 midnight it was GO TIME. My nurse came in and introduced herself, followed by the anesthesiologist who was a riot. I loved both of them. Then, my Dr. came in, broke my water and said, "don't push until you see my face"...that was the last we saw of him until the big arrival. The anesthesiologist was back in the room within minutes and I had my epidural about 10 minutes later. It was the FIRST epidural that worked instantly and completely the way it should. I had to keep asking if I was actually contracting because I couldn't feel any contractions. This was new to me. The plan, since I was dilated and effaced, was to get my station(how far down the baby's head is) a little more progressed. Broox was still VERY high. After getting my epi, I was going to be sat up and let gravity do it's thing the best it can with an epidural. That plan changed when my blood pressure dropped significantly. The epidural can have an effect on blood pressure and apparently, mine was dropping. They tried some things and eventually ended up giving me some medicine to help raise my bp. That was just the beginning. The medicine they gave me seemed to start having an effect on Broox' heart rate. It began to plummet. It was really pretty scary when your nurse tells you that if they can't get it down, they will have to move to the operating room "just in case". I was immediately put on oxygen and laid on my left side...all things hoping to increase his heart rate. From this point on, laboring was slow and scary. The nurse never left our room because she didn't want something to "happen on her watch". SCARY. I was scared for myself, but more scared for the little bub inside. Nothing like this has ever happened before and I was trying not to panic myself.

Just before 4 am the nurse checked me and I was dilated to 6cm. They nurse was so excited for my progress, but I was DEFEATED! I gave birth to Lilee in 4 hours FLAT...and it was coming up on 4 hours and I was only at a 6?! I was scared I'd be in labor all night! FIVE minutes later, I began to feel sick and "different". I asked the nurse to check me again and when she did, she looked SHOCKED and said, the baby is RIGHT there. In 5 minutes time, I had gone from a 6 to complete, fully dilated and the baby went from a negative 2 station to a POSITIVE 4, which is just about crowning. It was insane.

They informed me that my Dr. was AT HOME...yikes...but they called him. NOT pushing was something VERY new to me. It was something sorta unnatural. My body wanted this kid out...Broox WANTED OUT! FINALLY, my Dr. showed up and it was show time. About 3 pushes later and out came his head! Seth said that the cord was wrapped around his neck and the Dr. had to unwrap it...this is probably what was causing his heart rate to drop. 2 more pushes after that, and Broox was laying on my chest getting cleaned off. It was about 30 seconds later that the nurse "reminded" the Dr. that we didn't know the sex of the baby. He quickly pulled off the blankets and said, "it's a boy"...to which Seth and I both said, "WHAT?" We were surprised that Broox was here, but so grateful for another little man to join our family! He was perfect and SO STINKIN' CUTE! And there you have it...another quick delivery, another GORGEOUS Becker Boy to make our lives more beautiful! We love you little man!!

Broox Stephen...with photos!

Okay...before I get to the details...have you SEEN a cuter little man...ever?! :)

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"Don't look at me...put me back"

"This feels familiar"

Proud daddy with son

6 pounds 15 ounces...we have chubby cheeks!!!

After his bath...our little lobster!

Lilee meeting her little brother...flaunting her new BIG SISTER status!

The kids were SO eager to meet Broox.

I love this picture...I see Keaton AND Lilee in him also! So precious!

Getting ready to go home...SO TINY!
We've been doing as much of this as we can lately!
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I'll have to come back with the details...

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Stay Tuned!